Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Eating disorder or self harm?
I eat until I feel sick, not because I like food but because I don't feel like I can control my body.
Every day I wish I could be anorexic
People just don't get it. I am a gym junkie and no one would ever call me fat or even a little bit big, up until a few months ago I would have been confident in saying people would call me small. But my body is changing and I hate it. Instead of realising the few kilos I first put on were muscle I freaked out. I don't know how it happened but I developed a fucked relationship with food and now I am a self fulfilling fat prophecy. I hate myself.
I sit here crying at my computer feeling, knowing there is no one I can talk to. I feel like I am in some kind of nightmare and I know only I can wake myself up but for the life of me I don’t know how
Every day I wish I could be anorexic
People just don't get it. I am a gym junkie and no one would ever call me fat or even a little bit big, up until a few months ago I would have been confident in saying people would call me small. But my body is changing and I hate it. Instead of realising the few kilos I first put on were muscle I freaked out. I don't know how it happened but I developed a fucked relationship with food and now I am a self fulfilling fat prophecy. I hate myself.
I sit here crying at my computer feeling, knowing there is no one I can talk to. I feel like I am in some kind of nightmare and I know only I can wake myself up but for the life of me I don’t know how
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Keeping me sane
French band Phoenix are one of the things that have helped me keep my head above the winters meanness one of my favourite songs
but I do it so well ....
I must stop procrastinating. I have an anatomy mid term tomorrow and really need to study, of course this is the best time to start a blog!!!!!
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